Thursday, January 10, 2008

Cell Camp - It begins...with the Top 15 Cell Camp Lines

To start off this hilariously informative blogsite, Cell Camp lists some of its most memorable lines from previous shows, rehearsals, sketches and coke parties!




  • "Ants. The world's hardest working insect. Nature's Mexican's."



  • "The Dark Lord Xanthar says he's evil. The Dark Lord Xanthar says he will crush the souls of the innocent and drink the blood of the damned. But what's he doing snuggling with this puppy?"



  • "Great! First 9/11 and now this!"



  • “Jowls Whitley. I knew him when he was a little boy. Strange little fellar. He liked to lick cats.”



  • It's Sydney. Sydney Simon. It's alliterative. And i'm a person. Not a utensil.



  • "The lump under my shirt on Monday will be a gun."



  • Doctor: “Two wise men? I thought there were three.” The Virgin Mary: “Actually, only two of them were legitimately wise. The other one was a putz.”



  • “Oh this, it isn’t even my real eye.”



  • "Tell my wife I love...cookies."



  • “Say the name of the item you’d like to order, followed by the quantity. For example, taco...eighty.”



  • Professor: "I didn't know you smoked." Student: "Only when I'm stoned."



  • Mary: "It’s the new diet AmpuSlim! Just a quick outpatient visit to the M.D., they lop off a limb, and you’re back out in a few hours- and more than a few pounds lighter!" Lisa: "How exciting and not at all ludicrously dangerous!"



  • Customer: "Do you serve lobsters here?" Waiter: "We serve everyone, monsieur."





1 comment:

Kate said...

um someone reminded me of this one the other night and I LOVE IT. the one about the "you're not a sixty foot robot." "...not yet." you should ask joe for the specifics but i LOVE that one.